15 May 2002

My dreams have been very odd lately. They've been like some kind of twisted public service announcements from my brain. Night before last, I dreamed that people were actually using the bike lanes...like, people who aren't Zed...it was astonishing. And then last night I dreamed that they had discovered that a sound beating counteracted the effects of smoking a cigarette, and I was really torn, because some of my loved ones who smoked were demanding to be smacked around and some were refusing, and I didn't know which side I was supposed to be on.

I think I'd rather have some more "people in my writing group help me fix/decide random things" dreams. Those are much nicer. (And I've had three of them so far.)

One of the Merc's interior headlines today: "Teens ignore anti-drug commercials." You don't say....

We had Alec over for supper last night. Splendid time had by all etc. Good conversation. I've figured out one of my geek social standards. Because, of course, there are good geeks and bad geeks. If you're in a situation where someone else is engaging in moderate levels of geekery not your own, if you are a good geek, you will listen and ask questions based on what you don't understand. If you are a bad geek, you'll attempt to change the subject to something you already understand and can use to show off. Of course, there are high to intolerable levels of geekery, and anyone who has to put up with those is justified in attempting to change the subject. And being a good geek doesn't mean you have to let someone else ramble endlessly. But generally, I think that's a key good geek/bad geek difference.

And speaking of geekery, Evan has sent me a site that talks about the likelihood of a larger quake after a small one. So I'm passing it along to you. Enjoy.

I'm thinking of declaring a moratorium on people I care about feeling cruddy. Nobody new gets to feel cruddy for awhile, okay? I mean, if you do feel cruddy, don't hide it from me. That's not what I want. But I just want you not to feel cruddy. I think that's a reasonable thing to ask of the universe, don't you? Hmm. Well, maybe not. But it sounds like it ought to be.

Yesterday I was the Errand Queen. I went all over (and discovered that I have no idea where the Goodwill is around here, but that's what the phone book is for -- at least the stuff is in a bag in my back seat, which is a step forward). I got a bunch of promising library books, and I'm in that mood where I just want to wallow in books. But I want to finish Damnation Alley before I get into anything from the library (so far Zelazny has been bashing me repeatedly about the head with the good-hearted blackguardness of his main character, Hell Tanner), and I also want to have lunch with David. So I'm going to go do that, and I have work to do and e-mails to catch up on -- oy, do I have e-mails to catch up on. Interestingly, most of them aren't from people who read this and haven't told me. So either there are only three of you, or more of you should speak up. Really. I would like to know.

I've had contact from two old friends in the last week, people I've stayed friends with consistently for years now, who have said that they don't feel we're as close as we were. And I guess I have to see their point -- we probably aren't right now. But I also feel like in each case, both people are trying to remain close as much as the distance allows, and I don't expect that I'll feel exactly the same closeness with a given person at all times. Both of these guys are people that I could say I've been growing up with, and I intend to continue to do so -- but that makes it sound so continuous. It doesn't seem like it often works that way from a distance. I think it's much more reasonable to expect bumps, to expect moments of discontinuity where you realize that your friend isn't quite who they were when they were sixteen, but it's all right, because neither are you. I think that's totally okay.

I think I managed to convince my friends that it was okay, too. I hope so. I just have the feeling that this is the sort of thing we'd expect if we'd been doing this "growing up together" thing for longer, like, say, until we're 40. By the time we're 40, I hope we're all used to surprising each other from time to time. I hope we've come to expect it. I actually hope it doesn't take that long....

Well. I should get myself clean and ready to go, if I'm going to be going. It's flirting with summer here. We'll have to see. I'm not sure I trust it.