In which Our Heroine Glories In Icy Death Potential Anticipation

6 February 2006

Mark is in California this week, and he returns Friday evening. That's right: I will be getting him at the airport when the Olympics are starting. People, this is what we call love.

I don't hate the SuperBowl, because hating the SuperBowl would require energy I'm unwilling to expend in the direction of the SuperBowl. Instead I am indifferent -- not just to the game itself, but to the ads as well. The ads may or may not be clever short films, but they are trying to sell me something, and if they don't succeed in at least making me remember the company's name in a non-negative way, they're not good ads. "That one with the dog" is not enough, people.

Anyway, as little as I care about the SuperBowl, I love the Olympics, particularly the Winter Olympics. Obscure Sports Are Us, people! Or at least are me. Three words: icy death potential. Oh, how I adore my Winter Olympics. Any time you turn on the TV, there will be people doing something fast and dangerous and cool-looking on a frozen surface of some kind! How could this be better? By mixing in curling, you might suggest, and boom! Curling there would be! And that could be improved with Don and Don as the curling announcers, and boom! There they are!

Of course, they could be further improved by banning Shut Up Bob Costas from all further mentions of the Olympics, not letting him within 500 m of a sporting venue, etc. I realize this isn't likely to happen, but a girl can dream. (And don't argue with me about his first name, either, unless you're proposing that it's You Suck Bob instead of Shut Up Bob. I would be willing to hear arguments on that point. But it's no more just Bob than Sideshow Bob is just Bob.) ("Aaaah! Bob!" Heh. Sorry.)

I think they should put fantasy writers in charge of the opening and closing ceremonies for the Olympics. Especially the Winter Olympics. A fantasy writer can do symbolism about a fire and a bunch of snow if she's locked in a room with a roll of duct tape and some bananas. Imagine what she could do with the budget the ceremonies have! The mind, it boggles.

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